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A Letter to My 9th Grade Self

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Dear 9th Grade Miranda,

Let me tell you, girl… you’re going to change a lot from the time you take your first steps into Highland High School to now (your senior year). You’re going to have positive and negative experiences, achieve success, suffer failure, and form many different types of relationships. And looking back at you, I can tell you this: you’re going to have a lot to be proud of by the time you become me. You’re also going to learn a few important lessons. Be prepared, though, because freshman year and sophomore year are going to be AWFUL. Let’s begin, shall we?

September 5th, 2013 – the beginning of your freshman year.  For the first two or three weeks, you’ll come into school worried about what exactly you are walking into, and fearing that you wouldn’t make any new friends. So, for those two or three weeks, you won’t eat, and first period – every day – you’re going to throw up. This whole “being in school” idea is going to freak you out. As a freshman, you’re going to know that high school is your last stepping stone to being on your own and walking into the real world. But for most of the days during you’re freshman year, you’ll be painfully shy, and always worried about a teacher calling on you to read or present something out loud. You’ll have different types of friends, and a few boyfriends (none of whom will work out). School is going to make you feel uncomfortable, and you’re not going to want to go. One of the big parts of school is riding the bus – but when you were younger, you threw up on the bus, remember? – so you’re going to have a fear of taking them, and mom is going to have to bring you every day (I know that must have been annoying for her.)

Once your sophomore year rolls around, there’s going to be a big change. You’re going to come to school not caring about anything except drama. Basically, drama will become more important than school. Then – and I bet you didn’t see this coming – sometime in September, your parents will get a divorce. You were sure nothing like this would ever happen to you, but it did. After you find out, you’re going to be depressed. You’re going to think it’s your fault. Once again, you’ll want nothing to do with school, and you’re going to dread coming every day. When you do go, you’re barely going to do your work. You’ll do just enough to pass. You’re basically going to be a [jerk] to everyone, and not care. You’re going to want to fight people, and you won’t care who you disrespect. I can tell you now that the divorce puts you in a state where you won’t care about anything or anyone, and you’ll just want life as a whole to be over. It will be hard for you to go to school, manage your work, look for a new house, and move all at the same time. Every single day you will think to yourself, “Life can’t get any worse.” Guess what? It does. You’re going to have to pick – who do you want to live with, mom or dad? It’s going to be hard for you to choose between two people you love, and you’ll feel bad because you are the last child, their baby. But you have no choice. You have to pick. You’re going to go to school and never come home to dad, and it’s going to make you upset because you and dad always had a good connection with each other. So, needless to say, the rest of sophomore year is [terrible].

Junior year rolls around. Junior year, you start to realize that you have to do your work. You’ve got to be good, trust the right people, and make smart decisions about who to surround yourself with. Slowly, you’ll start to do all of that. You’ll be able to put the divorce aside and think about yourself – what you need and what you want – like going out and getting your permit, getting a job, and thinking about going to college. At this point, you’ll know that eventually, you’ve got to pick yourself up and do what’s right, because you know your parents didn’t raise… whatever it is that you’ve let yourself become.

Still, at some times, you’ll continue to be in drama, and you’ll have a couple boyfriends who are… well, I won’t say, because at one point, you’re going to think you “love them.” But overall, junior year is when you’ll start to figure out most of your life. Here are a few key things I think you’ll take away from your junior year: you can’t trust everyone; it’s not a good idea to tell people your business because half the time it will end up going around the school, and finally, if you start with twenty friends, expect to only have four or five when you get to senior year.

It’s a bumpy road, but I’m proud to say that you make it to senior year. Despite everything you’re going to go through, you’re always going to get back on your feet. Senior year will bring you good things, like your first car – a standard Ford Focus – and your newly adopted sister, Myasia Iman Johnson. You currently have around eight friends, four close ones, and a boyfriend who really means the world to you. You’ve been with him for almost a year now. I definitely feel like you have finally changed in a positive way. You turned your life around, and now all of your grades are 90 or above. Looking back at you, I can say I’m proud of who you’ve become. One of your many changes will be that you’ll go from having everything you want to having nothing, but it will teach you how to be more independent. At this point, you really just want the best for yourself, and for your boyfriend, Ed. Your main focus is to graduate in June of 2017, to go to college, and to become a nurse. You’ll achieve this goal with whatever it takes. You’ve got it in you – trust me, I know.

 

Sincerely,

 

Senior You.

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A Letter to My 9th Grade Self